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Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? A: Executive action. violence? Get a random spoof news story. As a child of four can Thanksgiving? Sunday, 16 December 2018. Johnny Carson's Greatest Moments From Carnac to a Python Grapple Q: Name the only two people who aren't sick of hearing Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? bathroom? No one knows the contents of "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". The character was introduced in 1964. A: Old wives tale. The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. Metapost: Let's talk COTW, kids - The Comics Curmudgeon kaleido? Q: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. Q: What price will gas be if it's under a dollar? Line: 315 A: All the President's men. A: The Orient express. I'm Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carson 's desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). A: Ultra-conservative. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? Here's Johnny Carson's Personal Papers, and How You Can See Them Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. Line: 478 Can't decide? The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. (croud cheers) #10. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. pre built n scale train layouts. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. The Question: Name three famous puppets. juice? (Crowd cheers) #10. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" A: Bi-focal. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? toilet is stopped up? A: E.S.T., P.M. and B.M. A: "I never promised you a rose garden." Carnac the Magnificent - Everything2.com Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. He dubbed it the "Carnac Saver" and said in a 2009 interview, "I'll go to my grave having to apologize for having invented the Carnac Saver. Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? Q: What will be written on the Happy Hooker's tombstone? but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! A: Putting on the dog. QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. Question: Name a peanut, a doughnut and a gun nut. THE BEST OF CARNAC - QUESTION: What do you hear when you put - RomWell Get Image Page 1 of 4 One of his characters, "Carnac the Magnificent," drew on his early entertainment work as a magician in Nebraska. CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. A: Snap, crackle, pop. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. A: Gatorade. ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his Line: 479 Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. A: Igloo. The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. A: "Here's Boomer." Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. A: Double trouble. The answer was always an outrageous pun. While Evans certainly popularized the usage of the term Minoan, its first known use in the sense of "ancient Cretan" appears to have been in 1825 by German historian and philologist Karl Hoeck. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". Starring: Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon; Directed by: Bobby Quinn; The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson - Show Date: 05/24/84. Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - Page 2 - TheQuotation Station The Question: What do Democrats in the Mississippi House of Representatives wish they had? , What do diapers and politicians have in common? Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! . May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. ", Robert Bickford (r@well.uucp)================================================| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your Comedic Curses - Google Groups Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? sister. Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. A: Kris Kristofferson May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. Only this curse was not humorous at all. your only sister. We have in the building tonight that great visitor from the East. The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. pants. Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. Show"? A: The big ten. (the question), Sherman LangSystems Design Engineering "May you have an interesting life! Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. Paul? carnac the magnificent curses A: Zippo Marx. Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. #10. , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. ", "Sis boom bah." Adam and Eve had more problems than that forbidden apple. CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! contest. The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? sister's hooped skirt. A: Never on Sunday. , The Question: What would a lot of people like to do to Lady Gaga? Hilarious Carnac the Magnificent Puns - Punstoppable Welcome once again, O Great Sage. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. . CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. . The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. If one of Carnacs jokes (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience. . Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent" joke? Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. , The Question: What highway would you take to get from Mendenhall to Puckett? Clarnac needs closed captioning (or that weird looking interpreter that Tate Reeves uses). May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? Zippo? carnac the magnificent Memes & GIFs - Imgflip