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He looked excited. Last reviewed July 2017. But other than that everything was fine. No one else but my partner saw how similar he was to our son. And that, that was when things where it started going a bit wrong. He had to come to the decision by himself. A long process of blood tests, scans, doctors and hospitals. All my instincts were to protect my belly, yet here I was allowing someone to stick a huge needle into it. This publication is licensed under the terms of the Open Government Licence v3.0 except where otherwise stated. Had 34wk scan last week and all is well - of all the babies found to have a two vessel cord, was told less than 6% experience any growth issues etc. She describes having to make a momentous decision very quickly, and the ferment of relief, guilt and grief that followed, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. These were said to be soft markers fo a range of trisomies, 2 of which were incompatible with life. An appointment should be arranged as soon as possible and ideally within three working days. . That he - I think I was 21 weeks and 3 days, and he was coming up at 19 weeks and 4 days, or something like that. I just feel very unlucky. With my oldest it turns out she has a minor thing that affects 1 in 1000 of the population and wont harm her at all it's just "there" and with my second the issue turned out to be nothing. It's been a heartbreaking nightmare. Has anyone been told the wrong sex at 20 week scan? I hadn't thought about the mechanics of such a late termination, but had assumed it would mean some kind of operation. And I said, I was still laughing, and I thought he was joking with me, and he said now I sort of could tell from his face that by that point he wasn't really joking anymore. We'd just spent some time away on a, on a summer holiday and come back expecting to have this scan and be told, 'All fine. Within two days I was waiting in my local EPU unit for further tests. I took my vitamins, stuck to the healthy diet and put on a brave face. Some say this estimate is really below the reality, and the out-of-pocket average costs are higher. Most hospitals do not allow children to attend scans as childcare is not usually available. Try to relax and take it easy. Smiling at myself and picturing me and Sam becoming parents. It was another consultant, who said, "I'm afraid I have some bad news - your baby has Down's syndrome." Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. A company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales company number 3266897. My partner's face was lit up, seeing the baby for the first time. Several women had taken young children with them to the 20-week scan because they expected to see 'nice pictures of the baby'. But no. We couldn't say we'd lost the baby, because he was still kicking away, but we couldn't pretend everything was fine, either. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see '. Several women had taken young children with them to the 20-week scan because they expected to see 'nice pictures of the baby'. So we gave up and said we'd arrange the funeral ourselves. All women are offered a dating scan, and an 18- 20 week fetal anomaly ultrasound scan, in line with NICE and UK National Screening Committee recommendations. The scan yet again confirmed things were not good, however the sac had grown. Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and . We left for home feeling completely numb. So he was about two weeks smaller than what he should have been. And she sort of got up and walked out of the room and called someone in. By my own hand, I had to end the pregnancy. And it's like, I really wanted to see it and I didn't, and it was it was very mixed. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. I loved him instantly and didn't want to let him go. Then, three days later, I would go to the labour ward - the ward I had been expecting to visit in two and a half months. I didn't sleep that night I don't think. You get extra care and monitoring as appropriate and baby is proactively treated. But everything seemed fine and we'd been sitting waiting to see the consultant, and I'd had an examination on the bed. Did you, how did that scan make you feel? It's quite common, perhaps 1 in 10 they find these, and within a few weeks they disappear. The consultant explained that this was just very bad luck and not, as far as they knew, genetic. On the third day, we got a phone call. See you in -. Read full disclaimer. They sort of drew some diagrams, and they said, 'But we need to refer you to a specialist to confirm the diagnosis'. He sounded like a wild animal in pain, deep pain. I think the whole experience has made me a pretty nasty person. And it's, I can't remember exactly what it was now, it's about where the brain is supposed to form. I wanted to be a passive patient while the doctor did what he had to do. Seated in the antenatal clinic with lots of expectant mothers with baby bumps. There is always a chance that a baby may be born with a health issue that scans could not have identified. I guess the morphine made it easier. Hugely upset that to think that the baby was so poorly. ABDOMINAL CIRCUMFERENCE MEASUREMENT AT 20 WEEK SCAN. Back on the EPU unit, a doctor organised for me to be admitted into the ward, to take the medical management under supervision as the sac was now to big for me to safely miscarry on my own at home. Your mind has closed to the possibility that there could be anything wrong. I had hope that the little bumps inside me were fighting just as much as I was to stay with me. I swallowed the tablet and we left the building. I felt crushed, I wanted him to at least acknowledge what had been found already. It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. I've realised that being a nice person is a luxury some can't afford. By this time, we were tired. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. Very occasionally this second scan cannot be completed, for example because: In this case you will not be offered another screening scan but you will offered an all over physical examination for your baby after birth. Instead, we were shown to a room slightly away from the rest of the ward and the midwife stayed with us to talk through what was going to happen. And so began the most bizarre day of my life. Scans cannot find all conditions. We must have had one before that as well, we must have had one before that, but it came back quite normal. I sat and waited to be called for my scan. You may like someone to come with you to the scan appointment. He wanted to talk about it, but I didn't. Actually you could tell from the brain development as he scanned up through the chambers of the brain, that one quarter of the brain, one chamber was not evident. Our week-by-week PREGNANCY emails are a must for parents-to-be. So that just left the talipes. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. . Living in this world must be unbearable for them. We decided that we wanted medication to help me. Thankfully I was met by an amazing sonographer, she was compassionate and understanding. But you could see there was something wrong? I felt the dread run through me. The results come in stages. 10/03/2021 16:13, @Cormoransjacket We were told to go to the hospital immediately. At first, I still had to deal with the physical implications of having given birth. Soon, the doctor came and inserted the tablets that would induce labour. The hardest thing I have ever done | Health | The Guardian So obviously quite relaxed. I did. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. I then had to wait in the room along with many other patients for an hour so they could observe me. Our baby was beautiful. We had to discuss what we wanted to do with the little body after delivery. Most scans show that babies seem to be developing as expected, and none of the 11 conditions are found. It was probably all right but hadn't had any fluid in it at the moment. It's a bit at the back of the brain and - no I can't remember what it is - it's called, it's something that's called Dandy-Walker mal, The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) have produced a report on Termination of Pregnancy for Fetal Abnormality in England, Scotland and Wales (May 2010). Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. But with time although we will never forget, I know we will be ok again. I couldn't bear to see the baby and asked the midwife to take him away immediately. In the case of a suspected abnormality, women should be seen for a second opinion by an expert in fetal ultrasound, such as a fetal medicine specialist. The consultant had said it wouldn't be like a normal delivery. We didn't name him. The doctor told me he was 98% sure this was a failing twin pregnancy. Thanks girls, it's amazing how protected our babies are in there isn't it?! We need to have your opinion'. So I suppose from that aspect, mind you having not been told that or sitting there, I wouldn't have thought necessarily that was odd. But on, in the middle of March, 10th March it was, we had a 20 week scan. Unfortunately I was not met with a compassionate sonographer. What happens at the second midwife appointment? We spent the next few weeks in a happy bubble. Enough for two weeks after he had been cremated. After the triple test you stop thinking, you stop thinking that anything can go wrong. You could see her face, and the major aspect that was, that was the indication of what was wrong was the thickening at the back of the neck in this instance, which, when you're looking at a fetus is, you know, sort of half a centimetre thicker or not is completely immaterial to me, and would look like a completely normal neck, but from the point of view of the consultant was severely abnormal. Not surprisingly, people aren't quite sure how to deal with me. Purpose of screening. And I'm glad I did and she's glad she didn't. I had to take a tablet there and then, under the supervision of a nurse, to end the pregnancy. In some cases concerns in utero fix themselves sometimes needs treatment. And that was a terrible moment to be sort of hanging on, waiting. Sam followed and I broke down. As I left the room to compose myself. In this information, the word we refers to the NHS service that provides screening. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. Finally, Monday came and we went back to the hospital. Two days, after on Christmas Eve, (my 12 week date) I had more blood tests. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. The ultimate betrayal. We're still not at the end of our journey, but we're much further along. A few people recalled how frightened and alarmed they became when they sensed that the atmosphere in the scanning room changed in an instant from 'jokey' to serious when the baby's problems were detected. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. See more information about the 20-week ultrasound scan. I think there might be a problem'. Away you go'. Have I misunderstood what's going on?' It can be such a shock so do whatever you need to feel better. There was a very marked lack of amniotic fluid which made it difficult, not even for the scanners to see, that made the picture of the scan look very, very different. This was on the Friday. All my plans were beginning to fall down. Bad news at 20 week scan, please help. | Mumsnet On January 18, my baby was born, at 23 weeks - a little boy. That was an extremely difficult day. You're in and out and that was it. The milk came and stayed for what seemed like for ever. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. But even if I was there, I still think I would have wanted to see the detail on the scan. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. So I lay on the bed and my partner sat next to me. I faced another internal scan where I began to feel helpless and alone. And it turned out the baby's heart wasn't forming properly, the chambers weren't forming properly. For women who have been given distressing news about their baby during the scan, there should be a health professional available to provide immediate support. While some parents understood the clinician's restraint - even when they had to wait an hour or more for a definite diagnosis - others disliked being kept in suspense and wanted to be told what the clinician was thinking. After half an hour of lying on the bed, I was starting to get nervous, but was excited to find out that the baby would be a boy and that I could see his little heart beating strongly. And even at that early stage it was beginning to sink in that there was something really not right. Fine, go on my own. Just wonder whether anyone had ever been told? I think I don't everything just seems a real blur because it was, it was such a strange experience. Can you describe the difference between the scan at this later stage in a pregnancy? Despite this new discovery, the sonographer was still concerned. Dont include personal or financial information like your National Insurance number or credit card details. I ran into the bedroom to tell Sam, who was ecstatic. And I knew there was no way out. The only thing you're thinking now is the birth, and what if something goes wrong in the birth? When he came back, he agreed on a termination. My mum arrived early to look after our son, and my partner and I got a cab to the hospital. We, I was with my mum, and they scanned and found choroid plexus cysts on the brain, which is just a mark, it's a marker on the brain, it's a, what they call a 'soft marker'. And that was extraordinary to see the detail that that could offer.