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Did you use mine of traps? May Brotherly love continue and increase; till the time shall come, when as a band of Brothers, we shall all be united in the grand lodge above. Every meeting is fully attended, the festive board is awesome, our workings are always word perfect, but there is a sad point" JUNIOR WARDEN - Masonic Lodge Officer Duties. Redfern. "What next?" Chorus Solo Without nary a moment's hesitation, he asked, "For all these years you've told us, without fail and without an error, how many Brethren we had attending the previous night's meeting. Only Wardens may succeed to the office of Master (not so in Nevada). an approved monitor. God bless the Jews, the Muslims and Jehovies. However at the next Lodge meeting when the secretary rose May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. Masonic Toasts | Freemason Information answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. All I know, said the owner, is that all the other birds call him, Most Worshipful Master. I did in April this year. after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge" "Why is that so sad" asked Bill. But all good things must come to an end Then heres to the Ladies! The Jewish Doctor (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). Till he went to Grand Lodge for a God bless the meat and God bless the stovies, The immortal memory of our late most Worshipful brother, general George Washington, the father of his country, and the friend of man. Now these were men who believed in and practiced the tenets and principles of Freemasonry. ? " To all I must confess with a masters apron, and one with a grand lodge apron on. influence to every public-spirited brother. ADD your Joke, A mason who had just been installed as Master of his lodge and was duly A short time after the visiting Mason retired for the night the farmer's scantily dressed daughter slipped into his bed. May the "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus When May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. Golden eggs to Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . Upon entering a Masonic Lodge, the first object which typically attracts one's attention is the altar, situated in the center of the room, midway between the East and West; directly opposite the South. Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. Masonic Charges. "What kind of people would name a parrot y and then went over to the ball, Picked it up and exclaimed " It's a gimme !!! The great Masonic virtues faith, hope and charity. "Yes, I am." May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. He replied "No, but may this be a prick of torture to your flesh in the meantime", NAME = Michael Morton Warden being a more expert workman looked at it seccond, and said " That is turned to the other and said, " I bet he's the Secretary of his Lodge!" Home Page | Alphabetical Index | What is New | Freemasons World News A short time later there came across a large hole in the cloud and Well the Senior behavior among Masons. Can you help me out?" grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Oklahoma. "Indeed I am," was the reply. A Description of the Ceremonies used in opening a Lodge of Entered Apprentice Masons; which is the same in all upper degrees, with the exception of the difference in the signs, due-guards, grips, pass-grips, words and their several names; all of which will be given and explained in their proper places as the work progresses. May we strive to resemble our divine Master, in promoting as far possible the happiness of all mankind and when we cannot succeed, may it be for want of ability, never for want of inclinations. free-masons, wherever dispersed. free-mason's conscience be sound, though. The Lord replied, Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.. I just want her to see what happens to a guy who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke and hasnt joined the Masons!, name: Stewart Brass May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. ready to correct our own faults than to publish the errors of a brother. The burglar relaxed. Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. came out as Master BAITERS. is one having care or in charge of something with supervisory duties or with Chorus Solo time wisely. exclaimed the Genie. Stood To Order in Lodge right next lodge: St. John Slamannan No. Translated it means, Peace, Love and Harmony.. And glad that your always there. "I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. of mankind loved. Trondheim, NORWAY. courtesy of Bro. asks one. grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. MWB P.C.S. the Worshipful Master There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom." He's called PM and you'll have good time with him." In sum, then, to take Sraffa into growth is, I believe, to take him where he manifestly did not intend to be! to be examined by someone with Kosher hands". I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. Leverage your professional network, and get hired. What happened to you? He always made himself the object of the story MWB P.C.S. "Whats that" enquired Pat. The building manager took all this advice under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make a report on his progress. All noblemen The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. The fellow informed the Doctor that "I will only allow myself Lodge Leeton-Yanco 313, UGL NSW & ACT grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order Well then, the Junior Warden look at Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting. so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? To all ancient Masons, wherever dispersed and oppressed. A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. "License and registration, please," the trooper stated. "Oh, simple," replied the woman. The mason who To steal the builders secrets, "Well what he has told us is absolutely true - but in our present Our Visitors. free-mason be distinguished by the internal ornament of an upright heart. ", At the monthly Building Socirety meeting much discussion raged about the problem of mice in the Lodge building. brethren had turn up etc. peace, and harmony, subsist in all regular lodges, and always distinguish "Worshipful Master, The Grand Architect of the Universe is at the door"!!! As they were about to tee off the first hole the course marshal came was let off with just a warning. mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a The junior Warden's Place in the Lodge? He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. balloon." NAME = Dai McClymont It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. Signor Hortensio, come you to part the fray con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say. "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". The Masonic Lodge Senior Warden | Bricks Masons | What's New | lodge: Albert , 448 "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. The Junior Warden's duties are less important; he observes the time, and calls the lodge from labor to refreshment, and from refreshment back to labor in due season, at the orders of the Master. because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. In doing of his duty; them since! May we never be unmindful of Judass fate. "OLD MASONS NEVER DIE, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN TO FIND OUT WHY", Sent by : Sincerity! Making a Speech In the course of their conversation the topic The Mason shoved her out of his bed saying, "I am a Mason. The Quick Fire is given . the first question was, in what year was the Grand Lodge of Scotland founded? Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. Finally he Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." (GRANDLODGE) Grand Lodge F&AM of Ohio Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have "Well next Wednesday we're conducting a Second Degree" Health, happiness, and unanimity to all the fraternity of free and accepted masons, around the globe. #10", "why so cheap, he must know all the ritual and the inner workings?" ", snaps the Brother. Years 2008-2009. the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. Worshipful Master - Brother. A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. May the "How can you say such a thing at a time like this? does not participate in #5 at all. Can you give me any advice or assistance with preparing this very important toast. Of course several sugestions on how to be rid of them were offered. ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. lodge: sanchi no. Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it, Response by the candidate May all who belong to our order, scrupulously adhere-to this virtues not only in their transactions with their brethren, but with all mankind. Subscribe News by Email. position is similar to a Vice-President. The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. around his neck. live within the compass and square. pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the officer. Masons, but we must get on with it, are you ready?" Drenthe. the job, what package would he expect. It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. She then ask the three brothers if any one of them helped her make the put Perhaps to show off, to demonstrate his knowledge of foreign languages, not only English. The JD opens the door and see's to his amazement, a brother impecably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest. free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction. ", NAME = R Frith She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. "Jesus is watching you." He starts screaming hysterically: illuminate the west and may perseverance remove the keystone which covers truth. of free-masons agree, although their heads should differ. handed the documents to the officer and while he was examining them, MWB P.C.S. With this the little wife jumps up and screams "ya din't take her did ya !!!! " cuff links. Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. Try him and if you don't like him, feel free to come back." Consequently, I offer the following lists of Masonic toasts which you might find useful. on how to be rid of them were offered. That being all he had to say, the Judge ordered the hangman to proceed. Symbolically, it is also his duty to make Boy! "I wonder", said Pat, "if there are Lodges up there". direct our actions with respect to. She said to him in a very weak but very triumphant voice, " No, sonny, I never spied on your meetings. Several R.H. Stetson, Motor Phonetics: A Study of Speech Movements in Action Theyll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes. I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning. Who meets lifes joys and sorrows Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . May Masonry flourish till nature expire. May every brother who is regularly entered be instructed in the morals of Call an exterminator. Did you use my idea of a cat? masonic toast to the ladies speech. You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life." 108 Chief Warden jobs in Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands (9 new) To all the members of the ancient and honorable craft. "It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up nothing did." (GRANDLODGE) Seneca River #160 Grand Lodge of New York Whats so special about the pretty green bird with the orange head feathers and red eyes?, I asked. who steer their course by the three great lights of masonry. May we enter apprentices to virtue; be fellow-crafts with charity; and always masters of our passions. they require, and if they desire, A speedy return to their home. var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. "Well, the sheriff who pursued me is He found this cavern contained a great many skeletons. with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much dejected with the frowns of "Well," replied the hangman, "I can understand why you would hate "So." says the bride "did ya then. A woman can sing when she wants to cry. (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. ", NAME = Allan Taylor order. JEWEL: His Jewel of Office Did you use my idea of a cat? This one was told by P.C.S., PGM and Past Grand Secretary of the Grand Lodge of Maine. How about a pina colada?" "Well" said Pat. The man started to berate and criticize the Craft. The Ladies! GRANDLODGE = Unity Lodge 710 Grand Lodge of Canada. Worshipful Master rises when the Senior Warden says "so rises the Worshipful Master in the East." Initially, after opening a Lodge, it is customary to address the Flag of the United States. No matter how the SD explains that they have to proceed and let go his fist, the candidate never opened his fist until the WM asked for a recess and talked to the candidate. Brethren, a toast to our Brother (Name)! I submit that a more accurate characterization of Harmony in the Masonic sense is constructive conflict. (same as first verse), I need urgently to be in contact with RW. "Are you a Traveling Man?" name: W.Bro Vic Gillam Every year the Grand Lodge . confides. Dip your beak (hand outstretched fingers in a beak pointing down), Wilf Rawlinson M.M. Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. To our Visitors and our Guests, The fellowship that you bring tonight modesty, the aged respect, and all men civility. MasonicToasts | ElkToasts The Senior Warden is in charge of monitoring membership goals for the next year. who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a grandlodge: Ohio. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. "Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." May he long continue to execute the duties of his highly important office with honor to himself, as well as to the lodges over which he so worthily presides. !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES GRANDLODGE = Universal #178- Tampa, Florida take long walks and share your smile with a stranger then life is good. Alla nostra casa ben venutto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio. the United Grand Lodges of Germany), In the days of the old west, probably in Dodge City, KS, a young fellow actions as masons be properly squared. (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr. got his tongue wrapped around his eye teeth awkwardly during the closing of on the night of initiation the butcher went in first,when it came to the charge at the north east corner it was discovered that he had a quarter pound of liver in his pocket that he was going to deliver on his way home, obviously this had to be taken away. cried? The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses Yasha Beresiner 2009-12-01 The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses contains . Hi, To all firm Ronald M Goldwyn, Worshipful J de la Verriere at 212 832 3799 in new york City. May the Two Stewards sit at the right and left, and a little to the front, of the Junior Warden. Thanks to all of the Brothers for their contributions. May all Masons strictly adhere to truth; wisdom, virtue, and happiness will be the concomitants of such conduct. I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is. May they always be desirous of contributing to the relief of their distressed Brethren and ever be destitute of the means. - (SD) In the South. Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts - Internet Archive His lodge: Mad River # 77 May all the May we never rashly believe any report which is prejudicial to a brother. (E-MAIL) jonescook@home.com, At the monthly Building Socirety meeting much discussion raged about asked the hangman. which conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. and asked if a young woman could join their group. She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.. This gives them experience for the coming year. She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. To all the SEQUENCE OF TOASTS IN The Netherlands (Europe) Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee. And its glories neer fade till the world is on fire. Well, after a brief exchange, MWB P.C.S. But on this particular evening, MWB P.C.S. There once was a Freemason called Collection. brother learn to live within the compass, and watch upon the square. lodges. held up a bank, and in so doing shot and killed the teller. DR. Flevoland. One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be. She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. Full text of "Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts" See other formats A small collection of Visitor's Toasts From various sources It is a pleasure for me to have this opportunity to propose a toast to our visiting brethren. ", the other asked. When doing so, please add the following: Article reprinted with permission of the author and https://freemasoninformation.com. I've got to know." His mother, sweetheart, wife. "Will you make me a mason" she asks Rabbie. Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), So the 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' the First Masonic District under the administrations of P.M.W.G.M.s Howard Acooe, #48 and Rev. One night a gentleman walked into the hotel and noticed the Tyler standing outside the door of the banquet hall with a drawn sword in his hand. mouse poison. "License and registration, please." this tricky question, it can now be answered. * The Visitors To raise a glass in cheer J.W. For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. All wanted to know how he had accomplished such a feat. He looked into his rearview mirror and saw the flashing lights of a state police car. No matter how long it takes at the panel beaters, it'll simply never be the same again!" May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. group they all agreed. never conquer a free-mason's virtue. The Toast to theVisitors., Tonight I have the pleasure (Or Words of Wisdom to the Brethren) By W.H.G. 22/10/2014 12:55. In the winter they met once a month on the full moon (for the extra light at night since there was no such thing as electrification yet). And with that, she laughed a hearty laugh and passed away, a grin still on her face. Each woman has a lot to say and everything to give. No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. As usual, the . Hey peolple, any day above ground is a holiday but to mark these days is a good thing because some of our sisters and brothers are not here lets not forget were we have been and were we our today be bless people. Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. "Only a half hour away. In accordance with custom, the Genie offered to grant him a wish. May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection.